


The Inverse Square Law

by Taciturn



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: F/M, Fluff, lots of feels, sads? I guess this is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 18:47:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11469510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taciturn/pseuds/Taciturn
Summary: Intensity is inversely proportionate to the square of distance.Counting seconds should never be this painful.





	The Inverse Square Law

**Author's Note:**

> Suggested Listening: God Bless You by M:a.ture

_Intensity is inversely proportionate to the square of distance._

Ignis Stupeo Scientia was a thousand miles away, and you could do nothing about it.

He was a man bound by duty; and as much as he whispered "I love you" and "I'm sorry" before he left, you didn't want to believe that he was truly that far away. Tossing and turning in your sleep, you woke too many times finding yourself alone in bed with no one to clutch onto when the nightmares were too much for you to bare.

Ignis Stupeo Scientia. The syllables of his name turned into the hours, the minutes, the seconds that passed, forever counting higher and higher as the distance grew. Time was a cruel mistress, oblivious of your emotions and your broken heart.

As much as you busied yourself with your day to day duties, as much as you lied to yourself and reminded yourself that he would return soon, you knew that reality would remind you of how far away he was when you returned to an empty apartment. Your friends would always tease you, telling you, "Don't worry, the distance will make the return that much sweeter!" They would reassure you with sugar coated lies and with the blanket understanding that time would heal any and all heartbreak you were feeling.

It felt...

_"Cold? Should I turn the heat on?"_   _His voice was all the warmth you would ever need._

_You pouted in the dark as he pulled the blanket over you. You burrowed underneath it, letting your eyes just peek out from underneath. He would smile softly, pushing the blanket back only enough so that he could gently pet your hair. You knew that by the end of the night, you would have just discarded the whole thing in favor of wrapping your arms around him for warmth. True to his name, he slept warmly; and you were forever grateful for it._

_You always had trouble sleeping. However, it seemed like you were always able to fall asleep the easiest when he was next to you. His breathing, his warmth, the way he sometimes hummed a soft tune or read you a book to lull you to the shore of sleep always melted the stress away; and you would awake to the face of an angel._

It takes you an extra three minutes and fourteen seconds to fall asleep without him next to you now. That time frame extends itself by an additional twenty-two seconds every night into the indefinite future.

Reality seemed warped and dull. The city, for all its hustle and bustle, seemed muted and grey. The bright neon lights of Insomnia constantly glowed and reminded you of his bright, jade green eyes. You'd remember fondly the way they would crinkle when he smiled. Passing by the market, you'd be reminded of the long afternoons the two of you would spend finding the best ingredients.

Your first date had lasted three hours, nineteen minutes and thirty-nine seconds. It had taken place in front of a shop selling the best cup of Ebony that he so dearly loved. Walking by the shop now, you paused to take a deep breath of the deep, rich scent that permeated through the air. In the corner of the shop, you saw a couple chatting animatedly, laughing every now and then. The night didn't feel as dark anymore as you were reminded of the kindness that came from other people. It was the one thing that was able to keep you ....

_"Going to work already?" you grumbled, rubbing your eyes. You clung to his night shirt as you felt him shift._

_He chuckled and gently patted your head. "I just have to use the restroom. Go back to sleep. I'll be back soon, promise."_  

_Even though you knew there was truth to his words, you also knew that the prince was a fickle human who called Ignis at all times of the night. You counted your breaths until he came out of the restroom. You had gotten to forty-two when the door opened, and he really did come back to bed. You breathed a deep sigh of relief when he laid back down and curled up against his larger frame before quickly falling asleep after counting six of his slow, even breaths._

You found yourself immersed in cooking after a while of him being gone. It was as if sharing in his hobby made the distance a little shorter in the end. Delving into all of his books, you found yourself faltering whenever you saw a hand-written note in the margins. Going through the oldest cookbook on the shelf, you couldn't stop the tears from falling when you saw the note next to your favorite dish. " _Make this often, she likes it a little spicier than what is recommended. Serve her favorite ice cream afterwards to make sure she doesn't have an upset stomach."_

You felt the warmth of your apartment seep away through the cracks of the windows and underneath the doors. The warmth the two of you had cultivated for so long was slipping through your fingers as easily as time passed without a care.

Showers at 105 degrees Fahrenheit allowed your body to have some semblance of warmth, though that feeling quickly dissipated along with the steam that drifted towards the ceiling whenever you ran the shower that hot. You often found yourself crawling under layers and layers of blankets to keep warm. You even brought out the ones Ignis had so carefully stowed away for the winter. Though summer was fast approaching, nestling into the fort of blankets gave you the false security that he was next to you. You found solace whenever you could smell his scent mingling in the blankets as you were...

_"Sleeping early? It's barely 2AM. Are you feeling alright?"_

_You giggled and threw a pillow at him. "Aren't you always the one who tells me to go bed early?"_

_"I suppose you are correct. It gives me more time to hold you in my arms tonight then."_

_In truth, you were scared. The reason you always kept late hours was so that you could spend every waking moment with him. It terrified you to know that the next day could be the day that he wouldn't return. You wanted to cling to every moment you had with this treasure of a man for all that it was worth. Dependency as intense as the one you felt was dangerous, but you were fine with letting the world burn as long as he could hold you through it._

Your friends told you a new restaurant had opened up. "I hear the pasta is _amazing_ there! Let's go sometime this week!" they would exclaim in breathy sighs of excitement. "Oh! And you should see the head chef! He's so young and _handsome_." This time, their sighs were of a different sort of excitement.

"No thanks. I've got prior engagements..." you lied flatly. Food had long lost its flavor to you. Cereal and milk would do just fine.

Though Insomnia stayed the same, it felt as if everything were a blur after he had left. It was as if people started speaking another language; and you had been transported into a surreal, yet familiar world. The only thing that remained the same throughout those disorienting moments was the sky. You'd often look up to it, reminding yourself that no matter how far away he was, the sky was still the same for the two of you. It brought some comfort in the colorless city around you. It was almost a...

_"Welcome home!"_

_It was rare that he would come home early, and it was those few outlying days when you would have him for a few extra hours that you treasured the most. Those two words fell from your lips as naturally as missing him during the day felt. He'd always take time to let you watch him work in the kitchen as he prepared dinner for the two of you on those nights. You loved watching his long, elegant fingers shift and work as he manipulated food better than any professional chef that you knew._

_It was those rare nights that you would remember him smiling before he slept. You needlessly hoarded that image into your memory, knowing that this night could be the last time he even came home to you. Your affection fell right on the line between commitment and paranoia and it was a dangerous line you toed on a regular. However, you did your best to not let him see._

_He could never see how much you worried for him. All he would get was a gentle, "How was your day today, dearest?" while the two of you settled down for a cup of Ebony before going to bed._

You found yourself back in the shop where you first met and became an item. The smell of Ebony and pastries violently brought you back to the time when you first laughed at his dry wit and his stunning cadence. You remembered how he had saved you the last piece of the pastry you shared and how his eyes lit up when he saw how much you enjoyed his company. The warm wood interior of the shop echoed the warmth you felt when he first took your hand into his and led you around the marketplace.

"May I help you?" the barista asked as you found yourself walking into the shop.

"Ah... Yes... A cup of Ebony, please."

You had never quite liked the flavor of the dark, bitter brew until you had met Ignis. He had talked at length of its complexities and its origins; and after a few more dates over a cup or two of the stuff, you came to appreciate the flavor of it almost as much as you appreciated his existence.

"Of course! Coming right up!"

The wait for a fresh cup took one minute and thirty-two seconds to be made. Taking the warm cup in your hands, you made your way to the nearby bench to attempt to enjoy your solitude. It was almost out of pure habit that you took out your phone and punched in his number - a string of ten precise numbers. Three for the area code, seven more for the unique number that would reach him and only him. It was a sequence of movements that flowed from memory, and you held your breath as you counted the rings it took to reach him.

One ring followed another. Three rings total to his phone before you realized....

_"You're biting at your cuticles again, aren't you?" he'd chide as the two of you talked on the phone. It was a late night, and he wouldn't make it home by the time you were sleeping. Thus, you did the best you could to hide your anxiety and call him to talk before drifting off._

_"How can you tell?"_

_"Don't you know? I'm always watching over you," he teased with a gentle laugh. "In all honesty, you know it's a bad habit of yours..."_

_"I know, I know, you don't have to remind me of it. How was your day though?"_

_"It's been the usual. I do wish I could be at home with you instead."_

_"Me too..."_

_You couldn't find it in yourself to tell him how terrified you were that the perfect little world you had built with him could come crumbling down at any moment. He was a man whose duty was bound by his loyalty to the prince. Biting at your cuticles and splitting the skin at the base of your nails helped you cope with the reality of how temporal everything was between the two of you._

The number you had dialed couldn't be reached. That or he was too busy to pick up. The voicemail on his phone blipped once and asked if you wanted to leave a message. You gnawed at your flaking cuticles while the mechanical voice explained to you what you already knew. He wasn't there when you wanted to hear him the most. All you could do was leave the message and hope that he would get back to you when he had a chance to.

"Ignis, hey. It's me. Uhm... it's 5:19 PM right now... If you get this message, will you call me ba---"

The line cuts dead, and you look at your phone incredulously. In your lack of foresight, you had forgotten to charge your phone the night before.

You sighed and decided to spend the rest of your early evening watching a group of children playing in the distance. Somewhere in the recesses of your mind, you could hear their cheerful cries and their pleas to their parents to have another....

_"Turn..." you grumbled, affixing pins to the seams of his suit. You pinched and pulled the fabric to ensure that it fit him just right. "You've lost weight, haven't you? Have you been sleeping well?"_

_"I sleep when I can..." he admitted. He grimaced and let out a small cough when you accidentally stuck him with a pin. "Well, I guess that's what I get for fidgeting..."_

_"I told you to stop that," you mumbled as you concentrated on making his clothes fit him just right. He was the epitome of professionalism, and you were going to do your damnedest to make sure he looked the part. "What about eating at work? Are they at least letting you eat regular meals?"_

_"I eat when I have time to..." He let out a hiss when he felt you stick him with another pin. This time, it wasn't accidental._

_"Ignis, promise me that you'll take care of yourself better."_

_"I promise."_

_"Good."_

_You tried your best to reassure yourself that he was going to hold himself to that promise._

You had to bring yourself to face the reality of how far away he was and how far away he would continue to be. You tried to reason with yourself that it was going to be okay in the end. The world would continue to turn, and you would be able to make it through this time. Perhaps distance truly made the heart grow fonder. You found yourself dreaming of the day that you would come home and he would be there to greet you.

You often dreamed of jade green eyes and a mirthful laugh in your warm kitchen. Sometimes, when you woke up from those dreams, you tried to go right back to sleep, hoping, praying, that you could go back to that memory, even if it were for a brief moment. You dreamed often of telling him one thing that had been on your mind ever since the third date with him. You wanted him to finally hear...

_"I love you, you know that?"_

_The last contact you had with him was neatly written on a post-it note and placed neatly on the bathroom mirror when you awoke. The day he left, he hadn't had the heart to tell you those words himself._

_Your heart ached; and though you had to go to work that day, the back of your mind screamed to go back to the bed. There was no reason to go to work when the light of your life couldn't even find the time to tell you he was leaving. You wanted him back. He was addictive, like a drug which numbed the pain of your daily grind. You wanted him back so badly, and you would do anything to hear his voice again._

It had been one month since you had last heard from him. Thirty days. Seven Hundred Twenty and one one thousandth hours. Two million, five hundred ninety-two thousand, three and six tenths seconds, and you felt as if you had counted every single one as they ticked by. You clutched your fully charged phone and took a deep breath. Once again, you followed the well memorized constellation of numbers on the keypad as you dialed out to him.

The line rings five times before you finally heard his voice. It felt like an eternity and a half since you had last heard that sweet, low voice of his.

"Hello? Ignis? It's me..."

"Hey. How's everything in Insomnia?"

"It's fine. I'm adjusting to being without you for now... How has your day been?"

And in that moment, you swore, you had never been closer.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to kick me out of this fandom at this point. Can't stop won't stop the fluff/angst train.


End file.
